Post Convention Energy

For the first time in a long time (first time ever?) I leave a convention completely energized. Yes I was tired. Yes I was hungover. And yet... I have so many ideas of things I want to work on. So many pieces of inspiration that it almost seems an impossible task to weave them together.

I already miss everyone so much it hurts. You get used to being able to talk to these people whenever you want, as much as you want, for as long as you want, and it's so comfortable and so natural and so inspiring that you just want to pick up the phone and call them to continue the conversation. Not about anything in particular, but just about anything. At the same time, you know that they have to be at least as busy as you are. Those not in the business have missed a few days of work. Those in the business have just worked through their weekend.

All the same, I don't think I can accurately express how motivated I am after this convention. The last few conventions I've been to left me extremely depressed afterwards. I couldn't stop focusing on how long it would be until I saw these people again. I couldn't stop thinking about how these people got to spend their lives doing something I only got a few moments a year or some late nights during the week. I couldn't stop comparing myself to people who are doing this full time and feeling horribly inadequate next to them. I felt myself consumed by the big picture and how insurmountable that big picture is.

It was silly, really, but still dangerously true. It didn't make sense that getting to spend a weekend completely immersed in spending time with great friends would leave you depressed. It was almost like coming down off a high and being strung out. I also know that the last few conventions happened on top of knowing that I was moving away from the NY area, and the ease of seeing all those people was just going to disappear. I was changing jobs, our baby wasn't a year old, we were moving to an area of the country we'd never been to, and basically taking our current lifestyle and chucking it the window, baby and bath water style.

But not this time. It sucks to be so far away from some of your best friends. It sucks to know that it will be months before you see them again. It sucks to know that the chance that they come visit you is extraordinarily slim. But that way lies madness. I've been down that road and it led nowhere. I have a new road now. A new path. I miss my friends, but I know that I can reach out to them if I have to. We had a lot of fun this weekend. We worked hard, too. I think it can be hard for people to see that. Conventions are fun, but we're working, too. Even those of us who doing this stuff on their own time.

I realize this is all horribly obtuse at the moment. It's been one day! Hopefully the weekend will present a more organized thought process. And like I said, I have a ton of energy right now. It's sort of going all over the place, working on bits and pieces instead of focusing on one thing. It's much nicer to end a convention this way.

Is it really a year until next Wiscon? What about the rest of you? Do you leave a convention feeling exhausted or energized?