Don't you know I'm trying to wrap Mother's Day giftts and you keep wasting my time with fun quizes?
Your results:
You are Qui-Gon Jinn
| Qui-Gon Jinn |
| 75% | | R2-D2 |
| 74% | | Obi-Wan Kenobi |
| 68% | | Chewbacca |
| 65% | | Yoda |
| 64% | | Luke Skywalker |
| 61% | | C-3PO |
| 61% | | Jabba the Hutt |
| 61% | | Jar Jar Binks |
| 60% | | Mace Windu |
| 60% |
(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)
Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz
I can't believe how little difference there was between me being Qui-Gon and R2-D2! That's crazy! C-3PO is on my list, too. Most of the characters make sense, but how did Jabba the Butt make this list along with Ben Kenobi and Yoda? And what the f' about Jar Jar?!? That bastard ruined the movies for me (not movies in general, just the Star Wars franchise).
And I'm glad I wasn't luke, he was such a whiny bitch anyway.
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, Andy Wheeler
John Scalzi, on his always witty blog Whatever, posted an article a few weeks ago (hey, I was editing an issue of the zine, I'm behind a little, ok?) on 10 Things Teenage Writers Should Know About Writing. The post is very informative and should be taken seriously by teen writers who aspire to selling their work.
However, I think John sells his audience short by limiting it only to teen writers. I think this is advice that any writer who is starting out could read and learn something from. While some of the points are really pertinent to teens (i.e. 1. The Bad News: Your Writing Sucks and 2. The Good News: It's OK That Your Writing Sucks Right Now; although any new writer should be willing to admit these facts to themselves) there are some points that are really important to any writer as well as to an editor.
3. You Need to Write Every Day
I'm sure you've got this wired, and I'll note that for teenagers today, it's easier to write every day, because there's an entire social structure revolving around writing that didn't used to exist: Blogs and blog-like things like MySpace, or whatever thing has replaced MySpace by the time you read this. Writing isn't the isolating experience it (mostly) was before.
Now, be aware that writing in your blog or journal isn't the same as writing stories or songs or whatever your writing aspirations might be. Blogging very often takes the form of what writers call "cat vacuuming," which is to say it's an activity you do to avoid actual writing. You want to avoid doing too much of that (yes, there's some irony in me writing this in a blog entry -- particularly a blog entry being written when I could be writing part of a book I have due to a publisher). This is so vital to having any success as an author. I don't know any writer who doesn't write some every day. I also don't know any writer who doesn't feel they are constantly growing as a writer. Writing every day will help you hone your own voice and iron out any problems your voice has. Also, if you aren't willing to write every day (or at least have some sort of structured writing schedule) it says about how serious you are about your writing. Back in the day when I though I wanted to be a writer I could never get myself into the mindset to write every day. It never worked for me. But I felt driven to read every day, and through reading I felt the desire to fix and format the writing... I'd have to say that I edit every day. So, for something you are serious about, do it every day. Could be writing, could be editing, could be cooking, whatever. Every day. 5. Read Everything You Can Get Your Hands On -- Even the Crap That Bores You.
And here's why the crap that bores you is worth reading: Because someone sold it, which means the writer did something right. Your job is to figure out what it was and what that means for your own writing. It should also give you hope: If this bad writer can sell a book or magazine article, then you should have no problem, right? Excellent.
[and]
A corollary to this is: Read writers who are new to you. Don't just stick to the few writers you know you like. Take a few chances. You don't have to spend money to do this: Most towns have this wonderful thing called a library. We're talking free reading here, and the publishing industry won't crack down on you for it. Heck, we like it when you visit the library. Of course I like when you go to the library, I work at a library. But, just like you should write every day, you need to know what you're writing about. You need to know about the other people who are writing in the style/genre/idiom that you want to write in. Ignorance is not acceptable. I'll quick mention #8, which is Be Ready for Rejection. It's going to happen. I've rejected a lot of writers who are new. And just so you know, I've rejected established writers, too. Just because you're established doesn't mean you get a free ride. It will be easier, because someone will be more willing to invest time into REALLY reading your work, but they may reject you in the end. Like John says, go ahead and submit stuff now, even if you are brand new. I got some horrible rejection letters when I was trying to write. They made me feel worthless, or worse, they were hurtful (I tried for a long time to give a personal, constructive rejection for everything, but I no longer have the time for it), but you know what? The rejections I got were deserved. I hadn't written something that deserved to be published. Think about it. The money for Electric Velocipede comes out of my pocket. For me to give money to you for your story over putting food in my baby's mouth (ok, it's not that dire, but I'm making a point), your story had better be good. It had better be good enough that people who read it tell other people they need to buy my zine so they can read it. Here's the last thing I'm stealing from John: 7. Try to Learn a Little About the Publishing Industry.
If you're going to be a writer for a living (or, if not for a living, at least to make a little money here or there), you're going to have to sell your work, and if you're going to sell your work, you should learn a little how the business of writing works. The more you know how the publishing industry works, the more you'll realize how and why particular books sell and others don't, and also what you need to do to sell your work to the right people. Try to think of submitting stories as job applications. Would you apply to a job in the world of deep-sea fishing if you had never been on a boat? If you didn't know what a fish looked like? If you didn't know what they meant by deep-sea? And: If you think you're going to write in a specific genre (science fiction or mystery or whatever) why not learn a little about that field, too? A good place to start is by checking out author blogs, because authors are always blathering on about crap like that. Trust me. Also (quite obviously), authors are prone to offer unsolicited advice to new writers on their sites, because it makes us feel all mature and established to bloviate on the subject. And sometimes our advice is even useful. Don't submit something to a magazine if you've never read a copy of it. I get stories all the time that are nothing like anything I've published. Sometimes this is great. I find something new. I like new things. I like discovering things. But sometimes, it's something that just doesn't fit. I have guidelines on my website and I think they're pretty straight forward. So, when you want to submit somewhere, first, read something they've published and determine if what you've written would be a fit for them (i.e. don't send your slasher novel to a children's publisher). Then second, read their guidelines and FOLLOW THEM. Think back to the job application thing. If they ask for three references and you send zero, do you think they're going to call you? Probably not. If you mail me your story and don't include a SASE, do you think I'll get in touch with you? Definitely not. But even more than this, learning about the publishing industry will help set up expectations for you that are more realistic. Publishing is a business and therefore it wants to make money. Many editors and publishers also want to be involved with things that are cool, that have merit, but merit doesn't pay the electricity bill. Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, writing, John Scalzi, publishing
Some time ago, I had the great fortune to eat dinner with James Minz, Scott Westerfeld, Justine Larbalestier, and Karen Joy Fowler. Karen had just made the New York Times Bestseller list with her novel THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB. We went to a great place called Sushi Samba (Brazillian Sushi).
Why do I bring this up? Well, it has come to my attention that Mr. Westerfeld's newest novel, SPECIALS, will appear on the NYT list at #6. How freaking cool is that? So that fortuitous dinner had one current NYT bestselling author and one future NYT bestselling author at it. My dreams and hopes for Justine are big to also join this fraternity of writers!
Justine and Scott say that they have even bigger news to annouce, my guess is that they're pregnant. :) (I say this as a new parent who assumes all people with big news are announcing that they're pregnant)
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, Scott Westerfeld, Justine Larbalestier, New York Times Bestseller, Karen Joy Fowler
Because I haven't meme'd in so long....
Stolen from/inspired by Andy Wheeler:
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Yahtzee Royal Court -or- Yahtzee Royal
[The second one might work, but it makes me sound vaguely Captain Beefheartish]
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Charlie Caramel
[ok, now that I'm done laughing, it sounds like a Dick Tracy villian]
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
J-Kli
[oh what crap; that's no good at all]
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color)
Rabbit Green
[yeah, that sounds like someone I'D hire for work; I actually like Golden Retrievers best, but that doesn't work AT ALL for a name, so I changed to my second favorite animal]
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Charles Milwaukee
[nope, those Native American city names are tough to work with, although Charlie Milwaukee sounds all right, but more of a lower-tier mod guy, you know, someone you send out for coffee or a cheese tray]
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Kli-Itz-Yah
[I think I knew someone who came down with that once, it was a bitch to get rid of]
7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Selrahc-Ztiwllerp
[that's almost cool, but it reminds me of being a grade-school kid playing too much D&D and making characters with names made up of words spelled backwards...hmm maybe that should be my next anthology, stories about words spelled backwards or stories that are inspired by backwards-spelled words...hmmm]
8. PORN STAR NAME: (middle name, street you grew up on)
Charles Patricia
[maybe my GAY porn name]
9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive)
The Green Accord
[that'll strike fear in the hearts of evil-doers: "the harmonious color of foliage"]
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, meme
(with a free discussion on the logistics of spreads, signatures, and booklets)
I've sent the CD with booklet PDFs to the printer. What does that mean?
Well, I lay out the zine in InDesign (which I like more and more each time I use it), formatting the text, getting the images right, fixing errors, etc. In InDesign, the zine starts with the cover and works its way through the issue to the back cover. This is much like how you make a document in Word or some other word processor.
When I'm ready to send it to the printer, I have the program create a booklet. What this does is to take the existing pages and create spreads (imagine holding the magazine flat, those two pages make a spread) of them.
Now these spreads look a little funny. Often the facing pages on a spread are not consecutive pages. In fact, there is only one instance where the spreads are consecutive pages and that's the center of the magazine. Every other spread has some weird number on its facing pages.
OK, let's give an example of what spreads are for those of you who don't know. Let's say you have a 16 page zine. You want to use a number divisible by four. Why, you ask? Let's make a imaginary magazine that's four page. All you need is one sheet of paper. Look at the sheet of paper, any size. Fold it in half. Using the crease as the spine of your imaginary magazine, you now have four pages on which to put content. If you use a lay-out program like InDesign or Quark (or even Word) you'll lay out four separate pages. You'll create two spreads that are printed back-to-back. This is called a signature.
Every time you need to add another sheet of paper (i.e. your story that you thought was four pages is actually six) you add another four pages to the magazine. So, if your four-page story (the entire contents of our imaginary magazine) actually needs six pages, you now have two blank pages to fill. I'll make another post to explain how you avoid this problem in the first place.
OK, let's get back to our sixteen-page magazine. When you lay it out, the pages are in this order:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16
But, when you make a booklet out of it, you have the following eight spreads:
16-1, 2-15, 14-3, 4-13, 12-5, 6-11, 10-7, 8-9
This way we you copy the spreads back-to-back, and then fold them, someone can read the magazine from page 1 to page 16 by flipping from one page to the next. Which is usually the easiest way for people to read. Making them decipher your page order is a good way to get people to set your magazine down and grab a different one.
Now, when you create books, you do not make a booklet. Books are not printed on 4-page signatures. Imagine a 400 page book on 4-page signatures; you'd need 100 signatures to make that book. In addition to being expensive from a printing standpoint, the book would be very thick from all the folded signatures being put together. Books like to be made on 32-page signatures (16 pages to a side), which are folded, sewn or glued, and then trimmed to look nice. (when you fold that much paper together, the center pages stick out further than the outer pages, making something that look's like a knife edge; this gets trimmed flat so the edge of your book is nice and smooth...unless the publisher leaves it untrimmed, which gives it a kind of cool hand-made look...sort of)
You'll find that there are a lot of books that are right around 320 pages, or ten signatures. I would bet that the total page count of nearly all of the books on your bookshelf (all pages, not just the numbered ones that tell the story, but the introduction, the copyright pages, the blank ones in the back, etc.) can be divded by 32. Go ahead, try it!
In my case, my magazine is saddle-stitched. In today's terms that usually means stapled, but it could mean that the issue is actually industrially stitched along one center seam. Books typically have sewn signatures that are then glued into the spine, although sometimes the signatures are glued from the get go, especially when it comes to paperback books (both mass-market and trade). Perfect-bound magazines (like Asimov's or Fantasy & Science Fiction) are always glued. It makes no sense from a cost perspective to have sewn magazines.
Back again to my magazine. I usually send two files to my printer: one of the cover spread, and one of the interior pages spread. Since the cover and interior pages are done on different quality paper, this lets the printer make all the covers at once, and then all the interiors. The covers and interiors are collated together, folded, stapled, and then trimmed by hand. Well, trimmed with a big machine, but it's not automated like the collating, folding, and stapling.
I should have copies by the end of the month. Yay! But, don't get all excited. I'm moving in early June, and may have a difficult time getting all the issues out right away. They will all be mailed by the end of June, but don't start writing angry letters until June is done. There's also an anthology that I'll start editing in June, so that will add to my schedule of things to get done.
There's also the baby and the full-time job, so don't expect miracles. But, I don't like things hanging over my head, so stuff might get mailed out right away, too. Then I'll have less to move, and it's something my wife and I can work on together (printing labels, stickering issues, addressing envelopes, etc.).
But for now I can say: IT'S DONE!!!!!
Special thanks to Neil Clarke (of Clarkesworld Books) for working overtime with me to get some final stuff in the issue. Thanks Neil!
PS--I have some untrimmed, uncut mass-markets at home. I'll post pictures of them to help illustrate the point. I think I need to make the follow-up post about how you figure out how many pages your stories are going to take up and make sure your magazine is a consistent length soon.
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, layout, Magazines, InDesign, booklet
The Nebula Award winners can be found here. Congrats to all the winners, but kudos to Kelly Link for winning two of three short fiction awards (Best Novella for "Magic for Beginners" and Best Novellette for "The Faery Handbag" [which also won the Locus Award and the Hugo Award])!
This was also the first year for the Andre Norton Award (created to honor young adult SF/F novels). The award was given to Holly Black, for her novel Valiant.
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, Nebula Awards, Kelly Link, Holly Black
Just in case you didn't go over there today yet, there's a quote from me about Jeff Ford up today. There's also quotes (as of 10AM) from Tim Pratt and John Picacio.
If for some reason you haven't experienced the world of Jeff Ford yet, perhaps some of the things me and other people have to say about him and his writing will inspire you to seek out his work.
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, Jeff Ford, Tim Pratt, John Picacio
You can now buy t-shirts featuring the cover image from issue #10, designed by Thom Davidsohn. All proceeds from the sale will go to Thom, so buy early and buy often!
John Klima
Editor
Electric Velociepde
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede
This is for Rick Bowes (who will be in issue #10 of Electric Velocipede) who just won the The storySouth 2006 Million Writers Award for Fiction! Rick received 24% of all votes cast.
Congrats Rick!
Tags: Science Fiction, Electric Velocipede, Rick Bowes, congratulations
It's been almost a month since I got these books and I meant to blog about it at that time. It was such a great day for books, having gotten the Jeff Ford and the Hard Case Crime paperback in my PO Box, then picking up the other four book at B&N when I stopped. I finally got a copy of BLACK JUICE after hearing about it for years! Also always good to get new books from Westerfeld and Larbalestier. The Henry Rollins book almost doesn't fit, does it? Ah, what are you going to do?
A very favorable review is available today from SF Site. It's been a while since an issue was reviewed at SF Site, and I'm glad to be back on their site.
Just a reminder, you can still buy copies of issue #9 from my website, as well as pre-odering #10 (featuring Jeff Ford and others).
John Klima
Editor
Electric Velocipede
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